The Little Things

The little things, the things that may not seem important but with out them life can feel empty. When people think about what others do, especially in family, relationships, friendships, etc. They think of the big grand gestures, the stuff you see in movies. The fancy dinner with music and dancing, the large gifts, the over the top expression of how they feel and how they want to show you what you mean to them. Often times the little things are over looked.

The little things in day to day life often carry more weight then the grand gestures. Reminding someone of something because you know they will forget. The setting up the coffee pot so it's ready when the other/s wake up. Remembering something as small as their favorite food, color, song, activity, remembering something that was pointed out that they like for a gift, ETC. In the grand scheme of things they all seem small, maybe even mundane, but the fact THAT you know them can truly indicate that you truly know the person. For me the little things are actually the biggest part. Oh sure, the big show of a grand gesture is all well and good and is fun sometimes, but that's not an everyday thing. The day to day is what really shows how you feel about someone. Being present and making time are huge when it goes to the little things. Making time in a busy schedule to make a call, or send a message. Taking time to talk, A quick stop at the store to grab some things and remembering a little something extra for someone. These are what really drive things home.

Over the years I've been in and out of very one sided relationships. I have stated this before that I would go out of my way to ensure that the other person was taken care of and happy and in turn convinced myself that that was what was needed to make me happy. "Happy wife, happy life" as they say. I would do the big things and the little things to show what people meant to me, but rarely was it ever my turn. There were times here and there that they would do little things to for me, but looking back it was often during times when I was reaching my limit and had one foot out the door. Doing just enough to keep me around and making sure I was still meeting their needs. This isn't how it's supposed to work. It's the consistency, the being present, the being present to walk through the tough times, the bad ones, the little things for no reason because you care. Not to keep someone hanging on and hope there is change. Even when I would bring it up and call it out there would be a "I'll do better" or "I can change", but these were just words. Words carry a lot of weight but actions can truly show where you stand and how you want things to do.

The little things in life are what make it, at least for me and I know there are others out there. There are a lot of times that I would try and brush it off, convincing myself that it's just something small, it doesn't really matter, or why did that hurt so much, its was just a little thing, not like they stabbed me, But the reality of it is, the day in and day out interactions in life truly affect and direct you in your journey. The truth of it is that you need to know and understand your worth no matter what you are going through. Do the little things happen everyday, no, but if they are worked in, especially with out being asked for, they are bigger than any grand gesture there ever could be. I often now think back to who I was then and who I am now and truly see just how much the little things in life can mean and show that someone actually means what they say and that doing them with out being asked or argued about is huge, at least in my book. So, measure your worth and never sell yourself short like I did for years. You will start to see who is truly there for you and who is doing the bare minimum to keep you around for their benefit. You are worth it and everything that comes with that. Don't be afraid to be happy and don't be afraid to say what you need to make that happen. They will either truly listen and understand, see that they have been lacking in what is needed and step up. Or they will show you truly how they feel through their actions and ways. There needs to be a balance. Equality of give and take. Without this there can not truly be a partnership and in the end things will finally tip too far and collapse.